Friday, June 24, 2011

Life is frustrating sometimes

Rude, inconsiderate people annoy me. Venting, Venting, Venting.

I went to see my father on Father's Day.  He lives in an apartment near the nursing home where my mom is. He had gone to the ER because he pulled something onto his foot. He was doing good though. Nothing broke.
On Tuesday one of the agencies that provides care for him called and said he wasn't answering the phone. When they went there he wasn't there. My dad doesn't go anywhere because he doesn't walk much and he sure doesn't drive. This is the message on my answering machine. I try to call, no answer, so before I drive up there and find my father in bed, not okay, I would call the hospital.
Sure enough he had been admitted. The nurse can't tell me anything but she will have the doctor call me. I am his POA. No one calls me back. I call back the next morning, talk to his nurse again, again told I will have the doctor call you.
About four hours later my dad calls and is going on and on about not wanting his cat put to sleep. I had no idea what he was talking about because I hadn't talked to anyone. He was quite stressed about this. Even when I went there no one could tell me anything and they will have the doctor call me. NO CALL.
The next day I call again and asked for a supervisor. After telling them that I am calling the state she goes out and has the doctor finally call me.
Well we did a cognitive eval and have almost got the nursing home lined up. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
They tell me there is all kinds of paperwork for me to do. I go around doing all this paperwork and listen to these nasty, grumpy nurses tell me what I need to do. I am thinking who was going to do this if I didn't call there demanding some answers.
Then they tell me I have to sign paperwork stating I realize that medicare will not pay for this visit because he wasn't truly admitted, he was an observation patient.
The lady from the Veteran's Home called me, what an angel. The lady for the Department of Human Services calls me, again an angel. If it weren't for those two people I would probably be in jail from slapping those nasty crabby unprofessional witches at that hospital. I am soooooo mad. I am calling the state anyway. I am writing letters. I am seriously complaining to someone.
My father is now in a Veteran's Home, forever I guess., but not positive. Again I am his POA. I do think my dad will be happier in the Home, he will have company, but I also think I should have been notified and asked what my opinion on all this was. Maybe I wanted him to come home here. I couldn't take care of him but they could have at least asked me.
These last four days have been a whirlwind of confusion, frustration, anger, and exhaustion. I am however sending those two ladies mentioned above a gift. They were the shining light in this hell of a week. Taking care of our parents is not an easy job. I have four siblings and all but one of them only calls when they want to complain about something they think I should be doing, etc. I hang up on them.
So I am assuming someone is going to clue me in on what I do next, close his apartment? move his stuff there? etc etc. I have no idea. I think I am going to go and cry for a while, relieve a little stress, and tomorrow will have to be a better day.
I hope you are all having a good week.


  1. Kat, I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time!I commend you for not slapping anyone, don't think I could have held it together that way.I would be mad to,no furious in fact ! It is hard taking care of our parents .Big hugs to you! I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.Blessings,JEn

  2. Kat,
    Hugs for you, so trying it is ,and I so probably woulda slapped a nurse or too as well , I have no patience for rudeness and Ill tolerate alot but dont mess with my kids, my man, or my family or you may just bite off more then you can chew!:0) Im praying for some peace and wisdom for you sweetie at such a stressful time ! Just remember if He leads us to it , He will lead us through it! Try and catch your breath and relax , that way you will be able to think clearer! Hugs lil raggedy angie

  3. Kat, I feel your frustrtion. Honey just come on over and you can cry on my shoulder. They should have notified you immediatley you having POA and the decision should have been yours to make. I would complain also. People can be so rude and insensitive especially when it comes to somone else family and especially the elderly. Like its a bother. My mother is in a nursing home and last week was turned over to hospice. They all seemed nice from hospice and I was suppose to get a call from them once a week. Today was a week and have I heard from them? NO! Have I seen them at the home this week to check on Mother? NO! So come Monday someone will hear from me also. I feel for you and home your Dad and your Mom will be okay. You take care of yourself in the process of all you have on you right now. I will keep you in my prayers.

  4. Praying for you Kat. So sad to hear you are having such a difficult time. It's hard to believe that some people lack compassion until you see it first hand. A good cry and talking to God helps me get a clear head when life is just too frustrating. (and lots of sleep!)

  5. Kat ... I had similar problems when my father became ill & was hospitalized in Florida & then moved to a nursing home. One day one doctor would tell me & my brother "it doesn't look good" ... & then the next day another doctor would say "he'll be going home soon!" We were at our wits end! We dealt with our share of witchy nurses as well. We never complained but I suggest that you do write those letters to the state. Those people who didn't return calls & treated you so poorly should be reprimanded for it. Will be praying all goes well. Blessings, Shirlee

  6. That's truly a bunch of baloney! Too bad you don't know a good attorney! (Nah...nevermind - they wouldn't do any good anyway...) I can conceive of no justifiable reason why you shouldn't have been the first person they called when he was admitted to the hospital....I wish for you - and your father - the best. Hope things take a turn for the sunshine Sweetie. I hate to think of your hurt...Big Hugs ~ Robin

  7. They have made a grievous mistake. It is equitable to malpractice. They have stepped outside the parameters of their job. I do not feel sorry for them, but I hope hell is rained down upon them. While the end result may be positive, the way it was achieved was appalling and inconsiderate of family.
    You have my sympathy and I share your anger.

  8. Oh Kat - I'm sorry you are having such problems. Sure hope things turn out well. HUGS!

  9. Kat~

    It's sad to hear about the treatment of your father & of you. I thought people became nurses to care for others, but I guess that is not the case (at least in this experience). Hope everything works out for you.

    Take care~Becky